I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
