____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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