1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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