The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize