i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
