you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize