YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
