i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
