woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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