I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
