It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
