I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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