I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
