found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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