i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
