It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
