I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize