I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
