"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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