hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize