At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
