I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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