My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
