I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
