i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
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