his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
