Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This toilet bowl is my home.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
