Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
