$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
