Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
