the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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