Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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