I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
