I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
