at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
