Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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