dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
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I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
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We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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