his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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