The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
