dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
