did you get engaged???
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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