Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I need to stop coming to work sober

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around

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(807): View more from Ontario

I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.

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(631): View more from New York

Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"

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(318): View more from Louisiana

There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday

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(360): View more from Washington

Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!

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(312): View more from Illinois

THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL

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