Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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