I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
