the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
