I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The air was thick with penises
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
