now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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