we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
