I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize