I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
