I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
