I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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