My room smells like vodka and shame
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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