I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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