As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize
