Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
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Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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