what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You left your phone here
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