pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
