I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
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I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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