she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize